Saturday, July 16, 2011

The Essence of Bali

The fragrance of frangipani and a light scent of incense don’t just float in the air in Bali; it is part of the chemical compound of the air. At once it is uplifting and calming with every breath. Water gardens, Hindu devis and devas, decorated altars even in the most unlikely places, delicate cianang overflowing with lovingly placed offerings and the kind warm smiles of the people make the essence of Bali inimitable. Many try to create the same completely sensual experience of warmth, calm and devotion of this island, but it’s jut not possible. This is the real thing. My meager attempts to bring that sense of calm to my home with warm colors, a pond complete with lotus, waterfall and Japanese koi are lovely but fall short. Although it is a soothing little corner, it’s contrived. I worked hard to construct and maintain a little piece of peace. In Bali a tangible tranquility is a cultural part of everyday life. It’s in the colorful aromatic flowers, ponds and waterfalls, the ornate architecture, the abundantly ubiquitous altars of every size, and the daily wave of cianang that spring up in entry ways, on altars and in the odd little corners all around. Delicately cradling their offerings with sticks of burning incense, the cianang are the tangible, scented expression of the intangible – the symbols of the communal commitment to the collective and individual spirit. They are the artifacts of the practice of the Balinese philosophy. 


The feeling I had in Bali of a sense of balance, faith and intention that permeated my being was not just something I conjured up. I found myself randomly questioning anyone and everyone there about this tangible and intangible essence. The answers were all the same when it came to the details of the daily practices and the icons. But unsatisfied (as usual), and wanting to know more (as usual) I Googled it. “It” has a name. “Tri Hita Karana” is the oneness of three worlds – the spiritual environment, social environment and the natural environment and is the philosophy the Balinese in general live by.  It’s from the Sanskrit Tri means three; Hita means well being and Karana means cause. The belief is that balance is necessary in three facets of life in order to bring about wellbeing. These are active relationships the people have with other people, with God and with nature. One doesn’t need to be a scholar in Tri Hita Karana, as interesting and engaging as it is, to understand. It’s something you feel on a cellular level in Bali. Even those who are only there for the beauty, the beaches and the nightlife must feel it too. It’s in the air, the architecture and the daily rituals. There’s no escaping it. But, I wonder who would want to.




I’ve realized that I chase the “Tri Hita Karana” in my own life. It’s such a conscious effort for us westerners. We are disconnected in so many ways. In Bali the reminders of this concept of active connection are unavoidable. Every which way one turns there are the black and white fabrics covering altars–black and white represent the “yin/yang” balance of life. They are a reminder that when emotions run hot the only way to ease it is balance with calm. Tripping over the daily placement of cianang, those small handmade vehicles for very personal offerings of thanks, requests for forgiveness and expressions of hope can’t help but force one to introspect about one’s own connection to each other, God and Nature. It’s a strange feeling to inspect the contents of a cianang. They are so personal. It feels voyeuristic but at the same time makes you feel connected to the stranger who lovingly placed them there. You feel like you know the heart of someone you don’t know. The abundance of them leads to a strange heady feeling if you’re like me and feel compelled to inspect each and every one you come across (and that’s a lot!). You’re surrounded by the hopes, dreams and sorrows of others laid out at your feet. It’s so anonymously personal. The task of articulating Tri Hita Karana is deserving of a more skilled ‘writer” than the likes of mois. But the collective and active practice of the people on this “Island of the Gods” had a profound effect on me and gave a new essence to my quest for connection and healing of my body and spirit, so I was compelled to at least try to share what it feels like–this ethereal thing I appreciatively refer to as Bali high.

And everywhere there’s incense. Incense on the altars. Incense in the offerings. The silky scent that takes on weighty meaning for the devotion and intention it represents. It lifts me up and causes me to take pause and have hope that I am more than my struggles with my health. Someone wrapped the checked cloth around the altars out of devotion. Someone made, filled and placed the cianang offering. And someone lit the incense sticks, one by one streaming into the Balinese night one by one filtering the moist air. An unseen reminder that we’re all in this together and that whatever our troubles, worries, hopes, dreams or struggles are we are not alone.




Suksamah (thank you) Bali!

http://www.balistarisland.com/Bali-Information/Balinese-Concept.htm

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Snap Out of It!!


I’ve been very neglectful. This precious blog has been dormant for far too long. It’s not for lack of adventures and epiphanies to write about or ‘slice of life’ moments worthy of sharing. It’s a combination of being caught up in the living of those events, the ‘down time’ I physically and emotionally needed for having lived them, and–to be quite honest–the creative block I’ve been suffering from.  When word got to me that I had followers other than my friends and family I froze. Writing the blog became way to precious a prociess for me. One I felt inadequate to tackle. I began taking it way too seriously and trying to be a writer, when my initial intention was just to share my journey. After all, whatever media one works in, all anyone has is their unique voice. Some will be drawn to it and some won't. This blog was never about reaching the masses. It's just me and my little voice. Instead of being a release and a creative process, writing became a chore and stressful. But the thing is I really enjoyed it before I let my quest for 'perfection' (whatever that is) get in the way. I was no longer 'going with the flow'. As Cher’s character said as she slapped Nicholas Cage’s character in the movie “Moon Struck”, I have rebuked myself to snap out of it!!!


Although I am now back at home and have been for almost two months, the journey continues. It was about going to Malaysia and all the travel but I learned along the way that it was really more than that. The journey is about finding a balance in spite of whatever life throws at you. In my case it’s Multiple Sclerosis. Living with M.S. is like living a constant game of Russian Roullette. One never knows what to expect from one moment to the next. When it delivers hard blows it would be very easy to succumb to the pain, fatigue and other myriad of symptoms. But I chose to snap out of it and challenge myself. Now that I am back in my real world with all of its stressors, good and bad, the balancing act continues. In fact, in a way its even more challenging. I find myself looking back on so many defining moments of my months in Asia when I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to find my way to a balance, albeit a delicate one. Remembering how I ignored my fears and disappeared across the bay to snorkel by myself for an afternoon in Thailand helps me to work with the pain and fatigue on ‘slow’ days like today. Unlike those months away, here I have pressing responsibilities that I want and need to be physically and mentally present for. The balancing act becomes a more tenuous affair. Sometimes it involves summoning up the courage to allow my body and mind to rest as much as the courage to snap out of it and plow ahead.

As an artist I recognize that I have to create my art and not create with the opinions of others in mind–something I do far to often. Worrying about what other people think when you’re trying to create is the best way to make crap instead of art that is a reflection of your voice. This for me includes my newly-found creative outlet of writing.

I will continue with my blog documenting my thoughts and experiences with my true voice. I will share the amazing and at times miraculous experiences I had in Malaysia and other places through my journal entries, vignettes and ruminations. I came back stronger physically and in every way. Hopefully it will resonate with someone else who wants or even needs to hear it.